D-day aftermath

The first day after chemo went very well. I felt sleepy and a bit queasy - I think that is all the medication I've received. So I spend a lot of the day in bed, recuperating!

Hugo and Ivan had a great day. My friend Liezel, together with a friend Laura, took the boys and two girls to Mudchute Farm, to have a look at all the animals, even llamas! And thereafter to the park next door. They came home with all the evidence of a great day out - dirty feet, dirty hands and dirty clothes. Thanks Liezel and Laura!!

But tonight I am also shocked and saddened. A pupil whom I used to teach were diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago - still in her very early twenties. She had the operation and the chemo, but not the proper reconstruction because medical aids in SA don't pay for cosmetic surgery. And this is my message - do self breast examinations on a regular basis, even if you are still young! The earlier they detect the cancer, the better the prognoses. If you however feel a lump rest assured that 90% of the time it is benign.

Very dear friends from our care group gave me a DVD by Louie Giglio - "HOPE, When Life Hurts Most". A great message of hope. And the bottom line: In this world we will have trouble, but Jesus have overcome this world. Christianity is not the key to a great life on earth. But Jesus said: "I have told you all these things, so that in me you may have piece". Remember, God allows freedom but ALWAYS remain in control.

D-day is over (almost...)

(Left with little Ivan giving Mommy lots of hugs, not kisses yet)

D-day wasn't that bad at all! When I arrived the nursing staff showed me my "spot". On a very nice lazy-boy chair. Then I got my first pill to drink (for nausea), one hour before the first drugs were administered. After that I got the cold cap to put on. This should be in place 45 minutes before the first chemo drugs are given and should stay on your head for two and a half hours after the last meds were given. The ice pack was horrible - very cold, very uncomfortable. I doubt if I am going to put it on next time. If I were to go on with the pack, this will be procedure for the next three sessions. No guarantee however that it works to keep the hair on my head for longer. The drugs I will be receiving with session five, six and seven will result in losing my hair in any way....

(On the right I am sitting with the ice cap. Looks like I am on my way to a cycle race.....)

I got to choose from a menu my drinks, eats and treats for the day. I also received a foot massage - wonderful!

The administration of the chemo meds were over very quickly and painless. Andries and I left the clinic at 16:00 UK time and arrived home to find our very happy children - what a blessing! I took a bath, had some tea and will probably be in dream land soon. They gave me a bag FULL of anti-nausea medicine and I will definitely be taking them all. On Friday morning Andries must give me a shot. This is to help the blood cells recover and to boost immunity. Thus, getting better faster in between sessions to be able to receive chemo every two weeks.

Our good friends Francois and Liezel gave me an Ipod Shuffle for my birthday. I was listening to beautiful music for most of the time. The staff is extremely professional and so friendly. It is really so good to be able to get the chemo at this clinic.

So, for the next day or three I will most likely be in bed - getting well. Thank you so much for all the prayers (don't stop!!), SMSe and messages. I appreciate it SO much!!

Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony". I praise the Lord for a good day and HEAPS of HOPE!!!!

D-day

It is D-day. I struggled to fall asleep last night. And finally drifted off thinking of my boys. And today, while the cocktail is being pumped into my body, I'll do the same - think of my boys.

Andries bought me a new pair of pink casual Nike shoes - to make the road a bit more comfortable..... I am also going to wear a bright sundress. And I'll wear nice lipstick, like the lady in the movie "Lipstick (Why I wore lipstick yo my mastectomy)".

I am off now. Knowing that the Lord loves me so much that He gave His only son to die on a cross, also for me. There is no way He is going to leave me for even one second!

Come what may...

On 17 April 2003 Lourika and I promised that we'll stick together - come what may! Later that Thursday evening we opened the dance floor at our wedding reception with a song from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack - "Come what may". Little did we envisage that we'll be right here in London, right now, the day before Lourika's treatment starts. And little did I know that tonight I would listen to the same song on Lourika's new iPod - a gift from friends so that she has a companion while she is pumped full of the stuff that's good for her, and bad for the cancer.

So in this time, when circumstances are so different from that wedding day, but in a way six years better, the lyrics touched me tonight again. Having to deal with cancer is far from perfect, but being with Lourika (cancer or not) is like this:

"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day."

So, while the music is playing, we'll keep on dancing! Here goes...

Andries

The day before the big day.

The last seven days were wonderful. Our good friends Anlie and Paul Dicks arrived on my birthday - surprising me with a beautiful recipe book stand from Carrol Boyes (I love her stuff!!). The weather in London is glorious and on Saturday we all went to Madame Tussauds and in the late evenings (when the sun is still shining at 9pm) we try to solve the whole world's problems. I am a bit jealous, they left for Paris this morning on the Eurostar - but I do hope they have the time of their lives!

Sunday we went to the morning service of the SA Congregation in London. The minister gave the most beautiful sermon on hope - just what I needed for the week ahead. And then we took part in communion. For me personally it was so special.

Last night Andries took me to see Les Miserables, the musical. It was FANTASTIC! Part birthday gift and part "something nice before Wednesday".

Today, the day before the first chemo session, I am like a mother hen. Cleaning the house, washing, drying and ironing clothes and making sure the fridge is packed with food for everyone. I can just predict that one of the difficult things for me is going to allow people to take over tasks on my behalf. And it is silly, I should pretend I am on holiday..... though, in this case, I'd prefer to NOT be on this particular holiday.... You see, the funny part is that I don't feel ill at all. The only thing I feel is the lump. I am sure the chemo will change all of that, making the lump disappear and making me ill.

I am feeling as apprehensive as in the days before the boy's c-sections. I know that it doesn't matter how much I read or talk to people, nothing is going to prepare me for what is coming, almost the same as having a baby. Only this time the nausea and body aches will be after the procedure.

Even though I have breast cancer, I feel so blessed. We are part of a wonderful care group. They already arranged to bring us supper every night, for at least the first month. Woman (all super woman for surviving cancer) had made contact with me and told me their stories of healing and hope - all warming my heart so much! Friends who just jump in to make the load lighter. I am SO grateful to all. But most of all to Andries. He is such an inspiration and is helping me so much to cope with everything. Every moment putting me first - I love him dearly....

And the show hits the road!

Today Andries and I had an appointment with Mr Robert Carpenter, the breast surgeon and Dr Alison Jones, the oncologist. We felt very grand - both rooms are on the upper West End of London.

D-Day will be on the 1st of July. I will be sitting in for eight sessions of chemo (four sessions of AC and four sessions of AC-T chemo). They also want me to try the "scalp cooling" sack with the first session. This apparently helps to keep you hair in tact for a little while longer. Surgery will take place afterwards. Most woman react very well to the drugs and do not feel particularly ill. And they have pills for every condition to make you as comfortable as possible. I will also be receiving G-CSF. This is a haematopoietic growth factor. It stimulates the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. By taking this drug I will be able to get chemo every two weeks.

The clinic is very nice. A lot of woman come here every week for chemo treatment and they really try and make it as comfortable as possible. I will also be working with Elizabeth, a breast care nurse. A lovely woman from Australia.

I am up for a free make-over session at some point in the treatment and will also be pampered during chemo-sessions. All sounds quite nice.....

We will be tackling the first chemo session with the help of our wonderful friends, Liezel and Francois (and their two beautiful daughters to keep Hugo and Ivan company - they don't mind at all.... ). Thereafter Ouma Ronel will be joining us for the next few.

We feel positive and confident. Please pray that I will stay healthy in between sessions and that things at home will be as normal as possible. Andries is truly an angel! Thanks my Engel, for all your love, support and understanding!!! I love you so much!!!

We are very excited to be moving into a bigger home around middle of July - with four bedrooms and a nice garden. Hugo even ordered a trampoline. Andries will have to start cutting grass again (or is that mowing the lawn?).

Tomorrow is my birthday and our friends Paul and Anlie will be here for my party! Well, a party of four... We are going to have a great weekend to get ourselves ready for Wednesday!

Our trip to SA - the land of milk and honey

Long time, no blog.... We had a great time in SA. Three weeks of family, friends, boerekos and lots of spoiling! Just what my spirit needed to get ready for the show (that is starting 23 June). The boys were impeccable on the flight to OR Tambo and my parents very excited to see us. I felt so much at home, especially with all the taxis blocking the road and stopping anywhere they can.

Just before we left for SA, I had gone for the core breast biopsy. I can compare that to a visit to the dentist. They numb the area and take what they need via a nice thick needle. Five pieces of tissue would to the trick to test for the type of cancer, aggressiveness and the treatment-plan. I decided to not do the bone scan in the UK, as I would have been full of "radiation" and it is not advisable to be close to little children or pregnant woman - the metal detectors would have also gone off at Heathrow.... So I did my bone scan in SA. I left with a clean slate (well, bone structure). I felt blessed.

I also decided to see a physiotherapist, Willie Fourie, who is a specialist in the after care of breast reconstruction. He is a wonderfully warm and kind man and answered a lot of my questions. He explained the working of the lymph nodes and went through all the different reconstruction options and the pros and cons of each. He also referred me to Dr. Carol-Ann Benn at the Milpark Centre of Excellence Breast Clinic. Carol-Ann is a fantastic doctor and advised me so well on many aspects of the treatment, especially regarding cancer in younger woman. After our chat, I felt relaxed and confident to carry on with treatment in the UK (She knows the St. Bart's Breast Clinic as well as my UK oncologist, Dr. Alison Jones very well).

After a week or two I was completely bombarded by information (all my own fault... Knowledge is power, blah, blah, blah....) and decided to cancel my appointment with the oncologist. I didn't know what to ask them??? Anyway, three women phoned me out of the blue - either in the middle of treatment or just finished the road to hell and back. It was such a blessing to be able to chat to women who knew exactly what I was going through. They encouraged me in a way that only women to this new "little secret club" could. I really hope an pray that none of you reading this, would ever have to take up membership....

And just as things started to settle nicely, Hugo ended up in hospital. The poor little chap was so ill with pneumonia, that he stayed there for four nights. After that, we kept him indoors and on his bum (in front of Nils Holgerson at Ouma Ronel's house). Unfortunately that meant that we had to cancel some dates - sorry guys, we'll catch up next time. That will probably be with my new (not) hairdo!

We are now safely back in London. Tomorrow, 23 June I will see the specialist and the oncologist. 24 June is my birthday. I'll be 33 and I have breast cancer. Pray with me that by the time I turn 34, this journey would only have been a detour on the road of life.

PS. The photos are of Ivan (14 months) "riding" a hippo at a friend's house and Hugo (3 and a half) in Krugersdorp Private Hospital.