Pretty darn scary!

Yes, this last week was pretty and scary. On Tuesday evening we watched a program on BBC titled 'My Breasts Could Kill Me'. Very insightful. A young woman going through the motions to see whether she has breast cancer. Her own mom died at the age of 34 of this decease, which makes her a good candidate to follow in her mom's footsteps. Some interesting facts: from the time that the first cancer cell is 'born' until the moment you can feel the lump in your breast is about five years. That means that I have been sitting with this awful stuff in my body for at least five years - scary! Luckily modern medicine is so amazing that they can detect a cancer tumor 18 months before you can feel the lump with a mammogram and three years before with an MRI scan. Unfortunately these are pricey tests.

Now to the pretty part. I had my 'Look good, feel better' afternoon this last Wednesday, together with 14 other ladies - all ages, shapes and sizes. It was a real girly, fun-filled afternoon. Upon arrival we had some drinks (that is now tea, coffee or cappuccino), were taken to the long table and handed out a nice biggish toiletry bag. Inside we found everything you need to glamour up your face - names like Chanel, Clarins, Lancome and Yves Saint Laurent. Even a very nice bottle of Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. Stephen showed everyone the 110 steps to follow to look absolutely gorgeous - no, it was only 12 steps, but feels like a 110 if you are used to mascara and lipstick for special occasions only! I was the lucky one on whom he had to demonstrate all his tricks and I am sure I can't remember half of it (it must be my chemo-brain condition!). Everyone was very chirpy and all smiles by the end of the session.

Upon arriving home, I found three happy boys. Andries was on babysitter-duty and joined Hugo and Ivan playing outside. They also completed some puzzles and managed to build a dinosaur out of Lego - very impressive! (See the photo)

We are getting ready for our vacation in Egypt. Four more sleeps before we leave for Sharm El Sheikh. It is very close to the Sinai district. The great thing about this holiday is that it is all- inclusive. So the only work we have to do is to put up our arms and snap our fingers to order the cocktails (mine non-alcoholic obviously...).

On our return it will be just a few hours before we see Oupa and Ouma Kotzee. We are looking forward to their visit so much! They will be helping our for four full weeks. They have done it plenty times before and we feel so privileged to have them here. This will be Ouma's fifth visit to us in 13 months - I hope I am making other oumas very jealous that have kids living overseas.

Anyhow, I will be reporting back on the holiday after the 10th of November sometime, hopefully with a little bit of a tan. XXX

A prize-winning speech!

A new friend sent me this via e-mail and I would like to share it with everyone:

This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of at American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.

"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your life on a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre, at my job if those other things were not true.

You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of
the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face.

Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived".

iThemba Walk Against Breast cancer

Pictures:Bobbies and my sister Liezel; Bobbies with the t-shirt; Little James doing his bit for breast cancer at 19 months;everybody walking the 5km walk (with apparently about 9993 other people); family pic (James, Mom, Karien, James Jnr., Dad and Liezel);

Well done to my nearest and dearest whom completed the iThemba Walk Against Breast Cancer last Sunday. Five kilometers of fun in the sun! I am very proud of all of you, especially little James that did his bit at the tender age of 19 months!

There are a lot of great organisations that are doing fantastic work to raise funds for various purposes like research or helping with the cost of breast reconstruction. Here in the UK Macmillan is such an organisation. They have a big office at the Harley Street Clinic where I received my chemotherapy. One of the services is a "Look good, feel better" afternoon for woman going through chemo or radiotherapy. (They have the same thing in SA). I am attending my session next week Wednesday and is very excited! They will teach me how to (finally!) apply make-up properly!

I had an appointment with my breast specialist yesterday and everything is set for the operation for 14 November. Beforehand I need to go for some blood tests, a CT scan and x-rays. My oncologist is very impressed with the surgeon and said to me "that his work is very good - every breast is a piece of art!" - we'll see how my piece of art turns out...

But for now we are getting ready for Hugo's photo-day at school tomorrow, our holiday and the arrival of Oupa and Ouma Kotzee - All very exciting stuff!

Breast cancer month

October month is breast cancer awareness month. So, all ladies, sit up and listen! As so many of you, I didn't do regular self breast examinations. Purely because I told myself that I wouldn't know what a lump would feel like. Now I do and believe me you'll know as well if you feel one. Please be aware of any changes, in any shape, form or colour of the breast or nipple - INVESTIGATE! You'll never be able to stop the cancer but you will be able to detect it early, if you are a candidate. And the earlier the detection, the more can be done.

I urge you to do a self examination at least once a month and here is how to (so no more excuses!):

Step 1: Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your shoulders straight and your arms on your hips.

Here's what you should look for:

• Breasts that are their usual size, shape, and color
• Breasts that are evenly shaped without visible distortion or swelling

If you see any of the following changes, bring them to your doctor's attention:

• Dimpling, puckering, or bulging of the skin
• A nipple that has changed position or an inverted nipple (pushed inward instead of sticking out)
• Redness, soreness, rash, or swelling

Breast Self-Exam - Step 1

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Step 2: Now, raise your arms and look for the same changes.

Breast Self-Exam - Steps 2 and 3

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Step 3: While you're at the mirror, look for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).

Step 4: Next, feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few finger pads of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together. Use a circular motion, about the size of a quarter.Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side — from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage.

Follow a pattern to be sure that you cover the whole breast. You can begin at the nipple, moving in larger and larger circles until you reach the outer edge of the breast. You can also move your fingers up and down vertically, in rows, as if you were mowing a lawn. This up-and-down approach seems to work best for most women. Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breasts: for the skin and tissue just beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breasts; use firm pressure for the deep tissue in the back. When you've reached the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage.

Breast Self-Exam - Step 4

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Step 5: Finally, feel your breasts while you are standing or sitting. Many women find that the easiest way to feel their breasts is when their skin is wet and slippery, so they like to do this step in the shower. Cover your entire breast, using the same hand movements described in Step 4.

I hope the explanation and pictures will help. If you are worried, feel a lump or see any changes, make an appointment with your doctor immediately. But rest assured that 90% of lumps are benign - lots of times only fluid sacks that can be drained. Remember that one in every nine woman would be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime.

Good luck to all my wonderful family members and their friends that's going to do the breastathon walk this Sunday. I know that this walk is so much more that just the completion of 5km of walking....

Have a wonderful weekend and let’s support all those great causes that help with breast cancer research and treatment.

Breast Self-Exam - Step 5

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A quiet Sunday

(Pictures: Elmarie at the Tower Of London, Bekenscot and its mini stuff, the three of us at Jamie's Italian - GREAT food!)

Today my sister-in-law, Elmarie, had to return home. I almost hid her airfare ticket to keep her here! She was so wonderful with the kids, cooking and doing heaps of washing. We are really going to miss her presence. This morning on our way to church our three year old said that she is on the plane going home and that she is "'n mooi ou dingetjie!" (She is a pretty little thing). We had a good laugh and agreed! We had great fun going to the Tower of London, Jamie Oliver's Jamie's Italian in Canary Wharf, The SA Congregation's bazaar and to Bekonscot (a place with a mini town, mini trains and a wonderful play ground).

It is so amazing how quickly human beings can adapt. Getting used to certain noises, movements and then missing it so much the moment it is gone. Elmarie, thank you so much for everything, we are already missing you!

My recovery after the last chemo is going well and hubby spoiled me again with a dinner and a show on Friday night. We went to see Chicago - the musical. Not bad at all, but not as impressive as Les Mis or Wicked! But we still had a great night out and had coffee at a coffee shop "voted best in London" (don't know according to who? But the cappuccinos were fantastic!)

I am getting ready to try and live life as normal as possible in the next five weeks before the big operation. Although I have to admit that I am going to make a lot of changes with regard to lifestyle - going to give my best at eating well and getting fitter. I realised that I need to take proper responsibility for my illness. I also think that recovery after any type of setback will be quicker if fitness levels are up. So, we'll start with our 'five-a-day' and getting the bodies to move a little more!

Again Andries is spoiling us rotten, taking us on an Egypt beach holiday. We are going to a place called Sharm el Sheikh near the Red Sea. Heaps to do for the kids and lots more for adults. I am so excited I can barely wait!

I hope you all have a great week and remember to spoil yourself also a little bit! God bless!

Last chemo!

Finally the day arrived for the last chemo session. I feel immensely blessed that I was able to get every treatment on schedule as planned. This made it so much easier with everyone coming out from SA to help with the kids and the household. And me being an organizing-freak that suited me well.

The traveling to the clinic this morning (by bus and tube) took forever. But I finally arrived, taking my place in my favorite chair, took the first anti-nausea drugs and got hooked up. So, after about 30 needle pricks and lots of litres of saline, steroids and chemo medicine the last 14 weeks, I AM DONE!!!!!!

As I promised, I took cake. No I didn't bake it myself. My friend Hannelie introduced me to the Thorntons brand of sweets, toffees, fudge and cake - delicious! So, needles to say I got Thorntons fudge / choc / thingemegee cakes. Everyone loved it (myself included).

I would also like to formally thank all the nurses at the daycare centre. They are all so lovely, gentle and professional. I know for them it is only just a job, but if you are traveling the detour road of cancer, their approach can make this journey so much easier. They were all great, but I would not mind mentioning two ladies in particular - Jocelyn and Lyndie. They took turns to administer the drugs and draw blood every week. The two of them are amazing! Thus, I salute all nurses who are doing a great job! Thanks!

Thank you for all your prayers, and messages - as I said before. I would not have been able to travel this road without it. My wonderful husband Andries has been amazing - I love him so much and feel so blessed to have him in my life. Together with our beautiful sons and family and friends - more valuable than all the diamonds Africa can produce!

All the glory goes to our Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - for smothering me with blessings, love and safety. I am at peace with my situation, has been from the start. I felt save and cared for by Him. Thank you for that Father!

And now, I am going to take a nice, long, hot bath, eat delicious veggie soup and go to bed.

Tower of London and more

The last few days just flew by! I am feeling very good and ready for the last chemo session. Again, there is one blood count that is a bit low, but nothing to stop the bus altogether - I actually feel excited about Wednesday, taking cake to celebrate.

Saturday we went to the Tower of London. Fantastic place with so much history and great stories of heroes and the not so much heroes. We got in for the massive amount of one pound per person. Hugo's teacher and a friend explained that if you live in Tower Hamlets (the municipal area where we live) you only pay one pound. The Tower is also in this area. The weather however didn't play along - windy and cold (at least not windy and wet like most babies...).

On Sunday we went to the Quaystone Christian Church. We are very excited about this congregation. We felt so at home and warm during the service. They also run a bunch of activities and Hugo enjoyed the kiddies part very much. Ivan, well, he snoozed away....

After church we went for a real SA braai with new friends from the new church. It was very nice to chat about SA things and to compare UK notes. Sunday also being our one year anniversary living in London.

At church on Sunday I was again reminded of God's love and grace to each and every person. There was a little baby boy, Nathan, born at only 24 weeks and one day gestation - and he made it! He is such a little fighter and a huge blessing to everyone who prayed for him. If I look at him and his miracle story I know we serve a mighty, great, loving and wonderful God. He is the answer to everything - no matter how big or small the situation. I hope that you will also be able to find peace in Him. XXX